Catullus XVI

Gaius Valerius Catullus (ca. 84 BC – ca. 54 BC) was a Roman poet of the 1st century BC. His surviving works are still read widely, and continue to influence poetry and other forms of art. Catullus invented the "angry love poem."
Catullus 16 is famous among Catullus's Carmina because it is so sexually explicit that a full English translation was not openly published until the late twentieth century
The poem is famous among classicists as a benchmark of classical obscenity and invective.
Catullus addresses the poem to two unknown men, Furius and Aurelius, who are perhaps competing poets, perhaps mere constructs, since invective poetry was popular at the time. Modern Catullus scholarship speculates that they are likely the same people referred to in Catullus 11 and other poems.^[4][5][6] Apparently, Furius and Aurelius find Catullus's verses to be mollici (soft, perhaps "wussy" in modern slang). Catullus responds with intense abuse and invective.

The following adaptation attempts to convey the attitude of this poem:

I'm gonna fuck you guys up the ass and shove my cock down your throats,
yes, you, Aurelius--you fucking cocksucker--and you too, Furius, you faggot!
Just because my verses are tender doesn't mean
that I've gone all soft. Sure, a poet should focus
on writing poetry and not on sex; but does that
mean they can't write about sex? If a poem is
in good taste, well-written and erotic,
it can give massive boners to hairy old men,
not just to horny teenagers. You think I'm a sissy
just because I write about thousands of kisses?
I'm gonna fuck you guys up the ass and shove my cock down your throats!

Latin text	English translation
Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo,	I will bugger you and face-fuck you,
Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi,	Cock-sucker Aurelius and catamite Furius,
qui me ex versiculis meis putastis,	You who think, because my verses
quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum.	Are delicate, that I am a sissy.
Nam castum esse decet pium poetam	For it's right for the devoted poet to be chaste
ipsum, versiculos nihil necessest(necesse est);	Himself, but it's not necessary for his verses to be so.
qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem,	Verses which then have taste and charm,
si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici	If they are delicate and sexy,
et quod pruriat incitare possunt,	And can incite an itch,
non dico pueris, sed his pilosis	And I don't mean in boys, but in those hairy old men
qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos.	Who can't get their flaccid dicks up.
Vos, quod milia multa basiorum	You, because you have read of my thousand kisses,
legistis, male me marem putatis?	You think I'm a sissy?
Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.	I will bugger you and face-fuck you.