Are you in a relationship but hate the hassle of having to celebrate Valentine’s Day every year? If so, we have a solution for you! Just convert to Islam and move to Malaysia!
A fatwa was issued against the pseudo-holiday back in 2005 and Muslim authorities in Malaysia are taking extra measures this year to make sure followers of the fun-hating religion don’t fall into the pre-marital sex trap laid (ha!) by conniving greeting card companies.
Wan Mohamad Sheikh Abdul Aziz, chief of the government-run Department of Islamic Development, explains that “the celebration of Valentine’s Day is synonymous with vice activities” and that “Islam would reject anything, even from the Eastern culture, if it contravenes the Islamic teachings.” Someone’s a buzz kill!
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