LOBO de CRIN o BOROCHI (Chrysocyon brachyurus)

Cánido de las pampas. Los guaraníes lo llaman aguará guasú ("zorro grande")
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A MIS LECTORAS... y al resto

“Amigos lectores que leerán este libro blog, | despójense de toda pasión | y no se escandalicen al leerlo |
no contiene mal ni corrupción; | es verdad que no encontrarán nada de perfección |
salvo en materia de reír; |
mi corazón no puede elegir otro sujeto | a la vista de la pena que los mina y los consume. |
Vale mejor tratar de reír que derramar lágrimas, | porque la risa es lo propio y noble del alma. Sean felices!
--François Rabelais (circa 1534) [english]

viernes, 4 de febrero de 2011

Lo que no debes decir en ciertos momentos

Un buen cirujano plástico podría encargarse de eso!
Son por lo menos los pezones reales?
Una pequeña raspadura en los labios no ha matado a ninguna
Y pensar que ni siquiera necesité invitarte a cenar...
Y dicen que el romanticismo no existe! (encerrados en un cuarto de los encargados de limpieza)
Estás segura que no te conozco de algún lado?
Pero si todos se ven chistosos desnudos
Pero si acabo de cepillarme los dientes
Esa almohada también es la preferida de mi gato
Es esta tu primer vez? sí , hoy!
Necesito otra cerveza para pasarme ésto...
Eres casi tan buena como mi ex...
Me he follado a casi todas las magníficas...
Es ésto un pecado?
Es una linda experiencia estar con una mujer.. que no necesitas inflar!
Pensándolo mejor, apaguemos las luces...
Cuál tampón?
Cuándo tendrás tiempo para conocer a mi mamá?
No sudas tanto como otras gorditas!
Mencioné la cámara de video?
Te conté que mi tia murió en esta cama?
Sabes que el tumbado necesita una mano de pintura?
Hueles algo a quemado?
No has considerado hacerte una liposucción?
Espero que te veas igual de linda cuando esté sobrio
Tengo que confesarte algo...
Pienso que morder pezones y clítoris es romántico...
Te dije que el vibrador ya estaba sin carga!
Pásame el control remoto!
Me despertaste para eso?
A good plastic surgeon could take care of that!
A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!
And just think: I didn’t even have to buy you dinner!
And they say romance is dead. (in a janitor’s closet)
And to think I was really trying to pick up your friend!
Are those real?
Are you sure I don’t know you from somewhere?
But everybody looks funny naked!
But I just brushed my teeth…
But I just steam-cleaned this couch!
But my cat always sleeps on that pillow.
But whipped cream makes me break out.
Did I mention my transsexual operation?
Did I mention the video camera?
Did I remember to take my pill?
Did I tell you my aunt died in this bed?
Did you come yet?
Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
Do you accept Visa?
Do you get any premium channels?
Do you know the definition of statutory rape?
Do you mind if I take this call?
Do you smell something burning?
Does this count as a date?
Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?
Don’t mind me, I always file my nails in bed.
Don’t worry, my dog’s really friendly …for a Doberman.
Got any penicillin?
Have you ever considered liposuction?
Hey, when’s it my friend’s turn?
Hope you’re as good looking when I’m sober.
How long do you plan to be “almost there?”
I have a confession to make…
I really hate women who actually think sex means something!
I think biting is romantic.
I think you have it on backwards.
I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
I told you it wouldn’t work without batteries!
I want a baby!
I was so horny tonight, I would have taken a duck home!
I wish we got the Playboy channel….
I’ll bet you didn’t know I work for “The Enquirer.”
I’ll tell you who I’m fantasizing about if you tell me who you’re fantasizing about...
I’m gonna need another beer to get through this.
I’ve slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain!
If you quit smoking, you might have more endurance.
Is that a hanging sculpture?
Is that a Medic-Alert pendant?
Is that blood on the headboard?
Is that you I smell?
Is this a sin?
Is this your first time? Yeah. Today.
It’s just a little trick I learned at the zoo!
It’s nice being in bed with a woman I don’t have to inflate!
Keep it down; my mom’s a light sleeper...
Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like.
Maybe you’re just out of practice.
My old girlfriend used to do it a lot longer!
No, really. I do this part better myself!
Now I know why she dumped you.
On second thought, let’s do turn off the lights.
Oprah Winfrey had a show about you.
Pass the remote.
Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, no means no!
Please understand that I’m only doing this for the raise.
Put that blender back in the kitchen!
Should we call Dr. Ruth?
Smile, you’re on Candid Camera!
So much for mouth-to-mouth.
So much for the fulfillment of my sexual fantasies….
So that’s why they call you Mr. Flash!
Sorry about the name tags; I’m not good with names.
Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
That leak better be from the waterbed!
They’re not cracker crumbs, it’s just a rash.
This would be more fun with a few more people.
Try breathing through your nose.
Try not to leave any stains, okay?
Try not to smear my make-up.
Waddaya mean, you’re not my blind date?
Were you repressed as a child?
What are you planning to make for breakfast?
What tampon?
When is this supposed to feel good?
When would you like to meet my parents?
Why am I doing all the work?
Will you still vote for me?
You don’t sweat much for a fat girl!
You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.
You look younger than you feel.
You woke me up for that?
You’re almost as good as my ex-!
You’re good enough to do this for a living!

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